Chinese Massages

So far in China, I have gotten several massages, and they each have been different.  I guess it was silly to assume that 'Chinese massage' meant one thing; there are probably also many types of Swedish massage, but who knows?  I've gotten several purely foot massages, which have mostly been predictable, involving hot water and rubbing of the feet and lower legs, sometimes with an arm massage thrown in too (making it an appendage massage?).  One time when I was getting a massage with my boss, they got out glass jars and lighters to do 'cupping' which involves sucking out the bad things inside of us by creating a vacuum inside the glass jars with fire and then pressing them against skin, then pulling them off.  The practice creates big red marks and looks painful; I passed on the treatment.  My boss wasn't paying attention and jumped out of her seat when they put the hot glass on her foot!

I have also gotten several full body massages, which I have been nervous about since I don't speak much Chinese to fix the situation if it started getting awkward or painful.  However, a friend from work and former Fogarty scholar from China, Hao, has taken me several times with her friends to get massages, and I have become more comfortable with them.  Prior to this week, I had gotten one oil massage that involved a warm stones and a hot table intended for women, to replace the energy lost from the menstrual cycle, and one non-oil massage with Andrew that was done through bathrobe type things, and was quite strong but felt really good.  It involved some stretching of muscles in my legs and arms and kneading of tight muscles in my back.  

So, after these experiences, I felt pretty comfortable with Chinese massage.  So much so that I offered to take Judy and Lisa when they came, and though Lisa turned me down, Judy and I went to a new massage parlor on Monday to get massages.  Hao did help me buy the online coupon, but she was not in the room with us.  It turned out to be an oil massage, so there was one awkward moment when we had to get fairly naked in the same room, but after we were on the massage beds and covered up, I was anticipating bliss.  And then…came the real Chinese massage, at least according to Judy who had heard stories.  It was less of a kneading motion than a strong, pointy, PUSHING, all over my body.  She used her elbows on my back - ow! - and her fingers dug into my legs.  She would start at my ankles and run all the way up to my thighs PUSHING upwards and downwards, just below the level of pain.  I think all my fascial planes were rearranged - which may have been the point.  Needless to say, it was kind of uncomfortable and not that enjoyable.  And then, they had us flip over and proceeded to give us breast massages (!!!)  Really.  We were both so surprised and then burst out giggling because what else could we do?  At one point the lady told me that i would probably hurt the next day - um…great.  I'm not sure breast tissue is supposed to be massaged like that, it was DEFINITELY not enjoyable.  Thankfully it was fairly short, and we were soon finished with our massages - but we giggled the rest of the evening, especially when relating the story to Lisa, who was gladder than ever that she had abstained from going with us.  Perhaps I should investigate a little more clearly exactly what my next massage will be like before going!